You have probably already heard that statement. Most likely from someone, who has just achieved something of his own and now wants to rub your nose in it. Let them have their few minutes of fame, your time will come one day too. I am sure of it.
But what if that statement really annoys you? It’s provoking. Wants you to pick a side. Is it true or not? You can look at any person, who achieved something and you immediately see, that they had some advantage over you from the start. And perhaps you feel some predestination in your own life too. So you dismiss the whole idea as pretentious and stupid…
You should not.
No one said, that we should all try to make same things with our lives. Or compete in it. No one even claims, that the world is just.
Yes, we all have very different starting points, different talents, genetics and environments we grow in. All of this shapes us. But we also have totally different desires. And this is a good thing! Amazing really. Because it lets us cooperate instead of just competing.
Going back to the original topic, the question have to be put this way: Can we really make our lives to our liking?
Essential thing is to understand, that WE choose, what is our own liking. In another words, we ourselves decide what we want to make out of our lives. And then we either work on it, or not. But it is a two phase process and we have control on both parts! So even that you are influenced by all kinds of things, you are still in charge.
To ilustrate it even more, imagine you were born into the family running a famous restaurant. And you would feel being predestined to become a cook, because your father, grand father and grand grand father were all cooks. You might even be pushed by the family to go in the same direction.
Understand this: FIRST you have a choice, if you want this way of life or not. If you do, becoming a great cook will be easier with this starting position, doing something else little bit harder. Perhaps you will have to fight for it.
SECONDLY, it is again your choice, if you make specific plans and work on achieving them, or would rather just go with the flow and take life as it is, not trying to shape it actively.
Realize, that you can be easily happy with the right combination of the above two things. And unhappy, if you choose a wrong one. For instance liking the preselected cooking carrier in my previous example and just going with the flow will lead to an easy life. Not liking it, but not be willing to work hard on changing it to something else, would lead to unhappy life. Working hard on something else will lead to tough, but fulfilling life. And working hard and liking the predestined option will give you very rewarding life…
Of course these two aspect very much depend on your personality. But now you know how it works, you can think about it. And change, if you need to. Because being happy is an outcome of your choices. And life is what you make of it.